Wait Patiently...

Sitting around just watching the clock.
Tapping my fingers consistently to the tick-tock.
I'm Anxious as i can be,
but the brain tells me to wait patiently.

I sit and wonder how long its gonna be?
Maybe a few hours, tomorrow, or even next week!
There is still a chance you see,
And to know that is all i need.

My hopes are so high I could touch the sky,
I glance at the clock, but only 10 minutes went by.
So Ill just continue to sing the tunes of R&B,
No not the genre if you know what i mean.

Ive learned that things arent always as they seem.
So next time there will be no insecurities.
I remember when you did the same thing for me,
That only motivates me to wait patiently!

Wake up! Smell the coffee...

So i just totally had a rude awaking, well not really rude lol but jus had a few thoughts cleared up for me! Wow, i kinda knew it was gonna happen up here on this surface, but i must say deep down, somewhere in my gut i didnt want it to! Then again i kinda feel relieved! Im so glad its cleared up tho, now thats one less thing to have my mind runnin 100 mph lol. I really feel like i can move on and put it in the past cause that hope, love, & memories is gone! well the hope anyways and maybe a little love. I think some memories will always be there tho! The growth over the past yr is amazing and goin back to the past would only cause a relapse. Thanks for reminding me of that...

"Its called the past cuz im getting past, Im nothin like i was before, you oughta see me now!" -Alicia keys.

The past isnt something i ever want again because i deserve better :) And I know ill get better! Im just expressin my thoughts about this awaking because i definetly smell the coffee! Folgers in my cup hehe....

Ps. Thanks

I got a Story to tell...

So im at the DMV today because as u know i turned 21 last weekend so i wanted the under 21 off of course and new pic. I've had the same one since i was 15 lol but anyways my mom, aunt and sister went with me. When i walked in i caught eye contact with a guy for a milli sec. I was jus scanning the room and he was lookin at me. So im at the counter and i noticed out the corner of my eye buddy was still hawking me down! i get my form and then We're jus sittin there waiting on my number to be called and chatting! While we chat i glanced up and buddy is still looking! so im like dang he must know me! but During this chat my mom suggested me get my hair cut back down while we're on that particular side of town! (GOOD idea mom, cuz i was definetly thinkin the same thing that morning..hehe) so i called Cat and she said i could jus walk in (YES)! lol but on another note i get off the phone and Guess whos walkin my way?????????

Ole dude (Chris)... so i look and i dont know him! Mind u my mom, sister and aunt is beside me... so he comes and sit in front of me, turns around and heres exactly how the convo went:

Chris: hey whats your name?
ME: Brittany and yours?
C: Chris.
Me: Do i know you?
C: no, why u say that? Cuz i came and sat back here to talk to you?
Me: Yeah pretty much. So you from around here?
C: No im from college park.
Me: What are you doin way down here, u drive?
C: Oh no, im with my uncle so he can get his license.
Me: Oh ok! how old are you?
C: 19 but ill be 20 in june, and you?
Me: oh lucky you but im 21.
C: dang yeah but i aint 21.
Me.Are you in school?
C: NO i bout to enrolled in a technical school tho.
Me: Well thats good, i gotta go my numbers called!

So i get up lol gave him no chance to ask for my number and finish my stuff! and while i was line i seen him eventually just go outside! First of all buddy had a Tall white T and baggy jeans and dingy white 1's! i guess he doesnt know its 2009 lol his lips were black as day like he smokes all day, so pretty much not my type at all! But he did have gorgeous hair! It was so pretty but thats about it! i just thot that was funny when i thot about it! i dont think a dude has ever come up to me while i was with my mom or aunt! kid had balls tho....

How it used to Be!

I'm not going to lie,I can't even count the days
Or the many nights I tried living here alone
A heart full of pride
Couldn't see the enemy was me
I was blind and thought my second chance was gone
A ship without a sail
Battered by the raging sea
Taking any love I can to try and stop the rain
While waiting to exhale I finally got on my knees
I know it's been a long time
Do you still remember my name?

Can I go back in time?
Can I have another try?
But I can't change yesterday

I Can't take another day without you
Cause this heart don't beat the same without you
I forgot who I was
Got caught up in this world
JESUS I apologize
I should've lost my mind without you
Not another sleepless night without you JESUS
I'm sorry and I'm asking please
Make me how I used to be

I try and try to keep my mind on you
But trouble keeps calling me
Every time a wound heals
Something else takes the healing away
But even when I've gone too far
You don't even call my name
Mama said if you love let it go
And if it comes back then it's back to stay
You already knew I belong to only you
I run to your arms and say

Thank You JESUS

Never knew a life so cold
Thought that things could fulfill my soul
Tried to find LOVE on my own
It was hard to admit I was wrong
BUT THAT'S THE 1ST STEP...
I don't know what's gonna happen that's alright with me. I open up my arm and just Embrace the mystery

BitterSweet....

I was thinking, Why is starting over such a bittersweet feeling? YOu just got out of a relationship for whatever reason, your ready to just forget about it and move on i guess! But then again youre not!

You want to meet a new guy/girl and to get to know them, hope theyre better than the ex, help u move on & get over the past, The idea of just dating and having fun is kool, etc. And the honeymoon stage of dating someone new is always fun which makes the idea pretty sweet.

But Then you feel like you just spent all your time with this ex and now u gotta start over and get to know someone else, meetin the fam, and all that other stuff that goes along with dating someone new! The process of starting over can suck because u spend your time gettin to know someone else then theres always a chance of it not working out! Which makes u feel like forget it, and kinda put it on the back burner making you kinda bitter!

Determined!!

SO im home for summer from School! Like the past 3yrs, every summer I come home and find a job then count down the days to return to school! first off thank God for me having the job esp. in this day and economy but the jobs are warehouse jobs most of the time! Its not hard work, mostly packing clothes, objects, things in boxes for 8 hrs! The Thing is.... i cant see myself doing it for the rest of my life everyday! If i cant do it for 3mths while would i want to forver lol Thats why since my freshman yr ive takin school alot more serious and focused! Because i know if i dont succeed in school then ill be workin these dead end jobs livin pay check to pay check! SO me dreading goin to workin those early mornings some how only motivates me and make me more determined to reach those goals i have! Because i see a bigger picture... and its beautiful! Im determined!!! I just want to be successful, i want the money, cars and clothes lol

Updates!!!!

So i came home this past wkend with one week of school left! Sunday i got to pack my stuff to get ready for all my finals and come back home! well i get a text sayin check my email! The email basically stated that all finals were optional! (At that moment I love small PRIVATE schools lol) but you had the choice of takin them and if they could help your grade but if you fail then it still doesnt count! WIN WIN... but i decide not to take mine! 2 A's, 3 B's... Ill take that so no finals here and im done with school!! Summer summer time!! Sunday MAY 9th i graduate with my associates degree! yayy.. and its also my 21st birthday! double YAYY!!

Well on another note, the finals were optional because there was a deadly car accident over the weekend. There were two passengers, my Friend Ross and a Girl name Brittani. All i know is that the accident was head on where she died! And Ross broke a few ribs. I didnt know Brittani but there were alot of student and teachers that did that are grieving. With this tragic accident the president decided to make finals optional. Brittani was a senior and was graduating this wkend on May 9th! Its very sad dwell on it because she was about to achieve a huge milestone in her life! My condolences and prayers are with her family!

I also need i mean NEED a new car!! lol my is shot, it was good while it lasted! Esp since me buyin if from a auction 4 yrs ago for on 400 dollars! but im determined to get a new one definitely by the time i go back to school! I also got exciting news of a new job i got for the summer! i was worried with the economy and all i wouldnt find one! Its a warehouse job, with decent pay, its kinda boring but hey who cares its a job! Thank GOD!!

Thats about it for now! Have a Blessed day!

Peace.Love.Happiness
Bruski

Maxwell is Biz-ack!! :)

So here is one of my old favorites from maxwell! we all know he was awesome back in the day! When i heard This womans work topped it off! His music is so soothing and relaxing! I love this R&B from the 90's



But He's back to making beautiful music! Heres Pretty Wings,off his up coming album! im so excited! I think ive listen to this song 50 times a days since last week! hehe.. its so beautiful... im glad he over came his obstacles... and he looks good!