Sunday, October 4, 2009
Sometimes you just know...
I just finished watchin the last season of "The Game." I love this show,It jus may tops "The hills", naw never mind im pushing it lol. Its hilarious, and the plots are awesome, Tasha Mack is crazy and cant keep a man, you got the interracial relationship of cheap Jason and Kel, & last but not least theres Derwin and Mel. No its not your typical relationship because he was pro-football player and the life they live. But the things him and Mel went through are very real. Their relationship shows almost every up and down that can happen. They thought things were gonna be easy and farity tale. First Mel went against her parents and moving in with Derwin. I know parents are protective and want the best for their kids, espcially girl lol. This showed it was a hard thing for Mel to do, having to prove her parents wrong. Mel turned down his proposal. Then Derwin cheated, which im sure alot of girls could relate to. From there it seems their relationship started spiraling down hill. They both did things out of spite, both lost and confused. Making decisions without thinking and kept hurting each other along the way. They didnt know moving on would be easier said then done. But through it all they finally realized they were still in love. They had to answer whether love would be enough to keep them together. I think Its up to you to decide if its worth it. Mel had to deal with Derwin getting another girl pregnant and taking 2nd place to his kid. She finally faced her parents. Even tho Derwin got Janel pregnant and although he cared for her, he knew he still loved Mel. They didnt give up. I know this show is scripted but it really does show the realness when it comes to relationships. Through all the adversity Mel and Derwin made it. On the last episode Derwin said that "sometimes you question how do you know if you've found the right one?" Mel you can feel it, "You just know! I Know"
Friday, October 2, 2009
Tables Turned...
I cant begin to fathom why i told Michael was pregnant. I can tell he was nervous when he asked, "What do you mean you're pregnant, What about the birth control?"
I began to explain, "You know I've been sick the past two months and the doctors have been running test to figure it out. He took me off the pills to see if it would help. Mike'l promise i was gonna tell you."
I could barley finish my sentence. He replied anxiously, "What you trynna get me caught up? What the hell is wrong with you?When were you gonna tell me Sharon."
"And when were you gonna tell me you weren't leaving your wife asshole?"
Considering his tone i could tell he was pissed. "That doesnt matter. Damn it Sharon, what are you gonna do?" I simply tell him, "I dont know? But i gotta go, Bye." "Bye Sharon, Ill call you later. Do not call me please." and he hung up.
I knew exactly what i was gonna do. I'm not going to do anything because Im not pregnant. Thank God, Im too young to have kids. I figured maybe he would have no choice but to stay. Its the only thing i could think of, I dont know how im gonna get out of this one. I always tend to put myself in situations my parents warned me to stay away from. I'm 26, smart, successful, good career; but it seems the only thing im missing is a family. He promised to leave his wife to be with me but reality has set in that its not going to happen. On top of that I freaking sick and cant figure out what the problem is. I have a headache right now and feel so weak. My next appointment isnt til next week. I'm spose to work tomorrow, I dont think its gonna happen. Speaking of work i have to call my John back unfortunately. He's the senior partner at the firm.
Hoping he doesnt pick up while its ringing, but he does. "Hey John you called?"
"Yeah Sharon, i was just wondering if everything was ok and if you were comin in tomorrow?" he asked. Im thinking it would be sweet if he wasnt such a jerk. I tell him that i didnt know yet and i'd call him later to let him know for sure. I hate having to work with him. John actually got me on the firm, so i guess he feels like i own him something sometimes. He's a male whore also known as a player, inconsiderate and selfish, you can say our relationship is more like Love hate.
The week comes and goes and the doctor ran some more test see why my blood was so low. He said the results should be back in a week. Michael text me to say that he's gonna fly in a few days. Thats a bittersweet feeling because I cant wait to see him then again i dont know if i should tell him in not pregnant. Until he gets here, I got to work for a few days when i can. The next day made it work and found that John did most of my work for me which was nice. The most considerate thing hes done since Ive been workin here for 3 years. Besides, he owes me because i did the same thing for him a few months ago. On our lunch break Michael calls me, "Hey Sharon, what are you doin? and Im in town. Come to the apartment when u get off." Nervously i reply, "Im at lunch with John. But ill be home around 6." Michael doesnt care for John, so probably shouldnt have told him that. Then again, i know why.
The day goes by and i arrive to my apartment to see his rental car out front. I walk in the door and Michael is sitting on the couch. I could cut the tension of the room with a knife. I figured i'd speak first, "Hey Michael, its good to see you." He asks, "Why in the hell were you eating lunch with that Nigga? what you fuckin' him again since we having problems." For some reason I knew he was gonna trip about that because A year ago, i was sleeping with John while i was with Michael. Sarcastically i respond, "Michael dont act like you care, and you married so what if i was? But no im not, since I've been sick he just took me to lunch."
"So how far are you along Sharon?" which i knew was coming next. Dreading to answer, i make up a time frame, "Two months and counting. And no i dont know what im gonna do, before you ask."
"Well you better figure something out because i dont want anymore kids Sharon. My kids are grown almost out of school. What do i look like 43 with a new born?" Disappointed by his answer, i just leave the room to go to my bedroom. I can hear the front door open as i walk in my room. I guess hes gone to the bar to get a drink. At this point i dont really care where he goes, im just depressed. I cant be because im not pregnant but its the thought of him not wanting to start a family like he said he would. I get ready for bed and check my voice mail. The results are in from my test last week so i have to go to the office tomorrow morning. Im laying down and I hear Michael come in stumbling. I knew he went to the bar, i hate it when he drinks. He makes his way to the bed and i just pretend im sleep although its almost 1.
The next morning I make it to the doctors office and back home. Michael is still in bed which isn't surprising. I open the blinds, vacuum, and start to clean the apartment on purpose knowing he would be aggravated. He gets up eventually and makes his way to the kitchen where I am. "Where breakfast woman, im hungry?" Nonchalantly i reply, "I had an appointment, and you should try the bar since that where you want to spend most of your time."
"Im sorry, but Sharon this is a lot to handle. How did it go, what did they say?" as if hes concerned. Insteading of dragging the conversation, i tell him, "Everything is fine, theres nothing to worry about. And im not keeping it. The abortion is in a few days." By the look on his face and his body language, i could tell he was relieved. He come to me and hug me but it doesnt feel like the way he used to. "You know i love you Sharon, but this is the best decision for you and me both babe." I guess this is his way of trying to console me but it doesnt help. No one can help me right about now. My bigger picture and dreams in life are crushed. To play it down i tell him, "I know you're right. I love you too." He tells me hes leaving later this evening to go back home. To drained to discuss it, i just say okay and call me when you get there. I go back to lay down for a few hours.
As the days go by, it feels as if im getting worst. The prescription the doctor gave me helps a little but not on my bad days. Michael promised he would call when he got home and of course he hasnt. What if i was really pregnant and got an abortion? he wouldnt even have cared. He promised alot of things that he didnt do. Frustrated and depressed i sit and think how i put myself in this situation. How everything is falling apart and theres not much i can do about it. I text Michael to see why he hasnt called me. He says that hes been busy with work and family stuff. Pissed off i call him and surprisingly he answers.
"Sharon what do you want? I told you i've been busy."
I ask him, "Why didn't you call like you said? Why havent you done the things you promised?" He then tells me, "Im sorry but i already told you im not leaving my wife
I love her. Its time to move on. You're young, you can find someone else. Just leave me and my family alone please?"
"Youre gonna get whats coming to you Michael. I've never told your wife about us but i think its time she know since were being so honest."
He threatens me by saying, "You do that and you'll regret it i promise. He furious by the tone in his voice. I hang up the phone in his face. He calls and text me but i dont answer nor reply.
Later i begin to write a letter to his wife explaining our affair which is pretty detailed, so im sure she will believe it. I also attached some photos of us and emails exchanges to seal the deal. I send it for next day delivery to make sure she gets them as soon as possible. Which he did because the next day i had about 50 missed calls from him. I decide to call him back and of course i got the reaction i wanted. We argue back and forth. He tells me how he hates me, calls me a bitch and that i ruined his life. what he said must have hit a nerve i guess because i then tell him, "You ruined my life if anything, making false promises, Asshole. This whole thing wasnt real to you. You never took me serious, just all fun and games." He then tells me, "You didnt have to freakin send that stuff to my wife. Told you from day one how it was so dont blame me. You were screwing John and me so dont come at me about all fun and games.
I asked with out a care in the world, "Now am i suppose to feel sorry for you now that the tables are turned? What about me? At least you have a family and a life because im a dead man walking."
Sounding confused he asks, "Sharon what the hell are you talking about?"
And i begin to tell him, "Im HIV positive. Didnt you get the results in the packet i sent?"
I began to explain, "You know I've been sick the past two months and the doctors have been running test to figure it out. He took me off the pills to see if it would help. Mike'l promise i was gonna tell you."
I could barley finish my sentence. He replied anxiously, "What you trynna get me caught up? What the hell is wrong with you?When were you gonna tell me Sharon."
"And when were you gonna tell me you weren't leaving your wife asshole?"
Considering his tone i could tell he was pissed. "That doesnt matter. Damn it Sharon, what are you gonna do?" I simply tell him, "I dont know? But i gotta go, Bye." "Bye Sharon, Ill call you later. Do not call me please." and he hung up.
I knew exactly what i was gonna do. I'm not going to do anything because Im not pregnant. Thank God, Im too young to have kids. I figured maybe he would have no choice but to stay. Its the only thing i could think of, I dont know how im gonna get out of this one. I always tend to put myself in situations my parents warned me to stay away from. I'm 26, smart, successful, good career; but it seems the only thing im missing is a family. He promised to leave his wife to be with me but reality has set in that its not going to happen. On top of that I freaking sick and cant figure out what the problem is. I have a headache right now and feel so weak. My next appointment isnt til next week. I'm spose to work tomorrow, I dont think its gonna happen. Speaking of work i have to call my John back unfortunately. He's the senior partner at the firm.
Hoping he doesnt pick up while its ringing, but he does. "Hey John you called?"
"Yeah Sharon, i was just wondering if everything was ok and if you were comin in tomorrow?" he asked. Im thinking it would be sweet if he wasnt such a jerk. I tell him that i didnt know yet and i'd call him later to let him know for sure. I hate having to work with him. John actually got me on the firm, so i guess he feels like i own him something sometimes. He's a male whore also known as a player, inconsiderate and selfish, you can say our relationship is more like Love hate.
The week comes and goes and the doctor ran some more test see why my blood was so low. He said the results should be back in a week. Michael text me to say that he's gonna fly in a few days. Thats a bittersweet feeling because I cant wait to see him then again i dont know if i should tell him in not pregnant. Until he gets here, I got to work for a few days when i can. The next day made it work and found that John did most of my work for me which was nice. The most considerate thing hes done since Ive been workin here for 3 years. Besides, he owes me because i did the same thing for him a few months ago. On our lunch break Michael calls me, "Hey Sharon, what are you doin? and Im in town. Come to the apartment when u get off." Nervously i reply, "Im at lunch with John. But ill be home around 6." Michael doesnt care for John, so probably shouldnt have told him that. Then again, i know why.
The day goes by and i arrive to my apartment to see his rental car out front. I walk in the door and Michael is sitting on the couch. I could cut the tension of the room with a knife. I figured i'd speak first, "Hey Michael, its good to see you." He asks, "Why in the hell were you eating lunch with that Nigga? what you fuckin' him again since we having problems." For some reason I knew he was gonna trip about that because A year ago, i was sleeping with John while i was with Michael. Sarcastically i respond, "Michael dont act like you care, and you married so what if i was? But no im not, since I've been sick he just took me to lunch."
"So how far are you along Sharon?" which i knew was coming next. Dreading to answer, i make up a time frame, "Two months and counting. And no i dont know what im gonna do, before you ask."
"Well you better figure something out because i dont want anymore kids Sharon. My kids are grown almost out of school. What do i look like 43 with a new born?" Disappointed by his answer, i just leave the room to go to my bedroom. I can hear the front door open as i walk in my room. I guess hes gone to the bar to get a drink. At this point i dont really care where he goes, im just depressed. I cant be because im not pregnant but its the thought of him not wanting to start a family like he said he would. I get ready for bed and check my voice mail. The results are in from my test last week so i have to go to the office tomorrow morning. Im laying down and I hear Michael come in stumbling. I knew he went to the bar, i hate it when he drinks. He makes his way to the bed and i just pretend im sleep although its almost 1.
The next morning I make it to the doctors office and back home. Michael is still in bed which isn't surprising. I open the blinds, vacuum, and start to clean the apartment on purpose knowing he would be aggravated. He gets up eventually and makes his way to the kitchen where I am. "Where breakfast woman, im hungry?" Nonchalantly i reply, "I had an appointment, and you should try the bar since that where you want to spend most of your time."
"Im sorry, but Sharon this is a lot to handle. How did it go, what did they say?" as if hes concerned. Insteading of dragging the conversation, i tell him, "Everything is fine, theres nothing to worry about. And im not keeping it. The abortion is in a few days." By the look on his face and his body language, i could tell he was relieved. He come to me and hug me but it doesnt feel like the way he used to. "You know i love you Sharon, but this is the best decision for you and me both babe." I guess this is his way of trying to console me but it doesnt help. No one can help me right about now. My bigger picture and dreams in life are crushed. To play it down i tell him, "I know you're right. I love you too." He tells me hes leaving later this evening to go back home. To drained to discuss it, i just say okay and call me when you get there. I go back to lay down for a few hours.
As the days go by, it feels as if im getting worst. The prescription the doctor gave me helps a little but not on my bad days. Michael promised he would call when he got home and of course he hasnt. What if i was really pregnant and got an abortion? he wouldnt even have cared. He promised alot of things that he didnt do. Frustrated and depressed i sit and think how i put myself in this situation. How everything is falling apart and theres not much i can do about it. I text Michael to see why he hasnt called me. He says that hes been busy with work and family stuff. Pissed off i call him and surprisingly he answers.
"Sharon what do you want? I told you i've been busy."
I ask him, "Why didn't you call like you said? Why havent you done the things you promised?" He then tells me, "Im sorry but i already told you im not leaving my wife
I love her. Its time to move on. You're young, you can find someone else. Just leave me and my family alone please?"
"Youre gonna get whats coming to you Michael. I've never told your wife about us but i think its time she know since were being so honest."
He threatens me by saying, "You do that and you'll regret it i promise. He furious by the tone in his voice. I hang up the phone in his face. He calls and text me but i dont answer nor reply.
Later i begin to write a letter to his wife explaining our affair which is pretty detailed, so im sure she will believe it. I also attached some photos of us and emails exchanges to seal the deal. I send it for next day delivery to make sure she gets them as soon as possible. Which he did because the next day i had about 50 missed calls from him. I decide to call him back and of course i got the reaction i wanted. We argue back and forth. He tells me how he hates me, calls me a bitch and that i ruined his life. what he said must have hit a nerve i guess because i then tell him, "You ruined my life if anything, making false promises, Asshole. This whole thing wasnt real to you. You never took me serious, just all fun and games." He then tells me, "You didnt have to freakin send that stuff to my wife. Told you from day one how it was so dont blame me. You were screwing John and me so dont come at me about all fun and games.
I asked with out a care in the world, "Now am i suppose to feel sorry for you now that the tables are turned? What about me? At least you have a family and a life because im a dead man walking."
Sounding confused he asks, "Sharon what the hell are you talking about?"
And i begin to tell him, "Im HIV positive. Didnt you get the results in the packet i sent?"
Thursday, October 1, 2009
What about me?
Im laying down trying to squeeze five more minutes in to sleep before work, i hear his cell ring on the night stand. I'm thinking, "Should I look while hes in the bathroom?" "I know its her so why even bother?"
So i yell to him, "hey your phone, you want me to get it?" knowing he doesnt like me lookin in his phone. He walks in and replies with a smerk, "Woman stop playin!" He picks it up and calls back the number. I get up and get ready for work. Im in the bathroom washing my face but i can hear his conversation.
"Hey baby, yeah I made it safe to the hotel. I'm getting ready to go to the office in a few. I'll call to you later. I love you too."
I dont think anything of it because I'm used to it by now, i mean we have been dating 5 years now. Plus hes getting a divorce because the kids are almost out of school. Its almost like a routine. As I'm getting dressed he comes up to me from behind to hug me.
"Baby stop I'm trying to get dressed. I'm gonna be late if I dont leave in ten minutes, seriously." Knowing that I love being in his arms. It makes me feel so secure and his cologne doesnt help.
He replies with a smart comment, "I can help you get back undressed in two minutes."
I tell him, "I'll pass, Ive had a enough for one night my friend." I laugh and grab my purse while trying to put on my other heel. As i walk out the door he says, "knock em' dead babe, I love you." I simply reply, "You know it, I love you more."
The door shuts behind me and as i always do, i wonder if he's going to call her back. I get to work just before my supervisor, good thing because I'm trying to become junior partner at my law firm. Its Tuesday and i hate Tuesdays. I have to make sure all the clients paper work is done and filed correctly for their court dates. I have to call them to make sure they show up. I Shouldn't have to make sure they come, they are adults. But then again, they pay me.
Its been a long day, so i took a break to call Him to see if were still on for lunch. He didnt answer so i left a message. I wonder what hes doing because hes off today. I start back to work for a while. Two hours passed and he still hasnt called, I can feel the uneasiness in my stomach. I dont know if its because its Tuesday or its nausea. I try texting him, "Hey are you still meeting me at Bob's for lunch?" He replies, "No babe im sorry, something came up. Im so sorry baby ill make it up to you i promise. I have to fly home asap. I'll call you later."
Why am i not suprised? Man, i was so looking forward to lunch. We were going to make plans for our anniversary coming up. I guess i'll order chinese for take out and wait for 5 o'clock to strike to go home and watch "How to lose a guy in 10 days" for the 100th time this month.
Five O'clock finally came, I walk up my steps with the take out in my hand because i couldn't eat it earlier. That had to be the longest day ever. Its now ten and he still hasn't called. I call my girl friend, Shante to see what shes up to and tell her bout him skipping town. Shante doesnt like him at all and tells me i need to leave him, im wasting my time. I think its because of the age difference, Im only 26 and he's 43. I tell her, Im not wasting my time because hes gonna divorce his wife soon. She never wants to hear it, but we talk for a minute. Until i tell her, "Well girl i gotta go ill talk to you later. I dont feel good i need to get some sleep." She replies with the usual, "aight holla at cha girl!" She so ghetto but i love her.
The movie is over and its now 2 a.m. and still no call or text. I would but i know the rules, I cant call him if hes home. I try to lay down but my stomach is killing me. Motrin is normally the answer, so i pop three and go to sleep.
The next morning was worst than the night before. I call out of work, the season is changing and its cold up here in the north so maybe its the flu. The only good thing about the morning is he called. He said the one of the kids had an car accident but they're fine and he will try to fly back out in the next two days. I guess im content with that anwser but i let him go so i can go to the doctor.
The next few days were off and on. I tried to work but couldnt handle all the stress. and on top of that He hasnt called me in a 2 weeks. This has never happened and i dont know what to do. I know the rules but i just had to call. He picks up after the third ring with a mono tone voice like everything is cool.
"Why havent you called me? I thought you were flying back out?" "whats going on?"
He tells me, to hold on. I can hear her in the background. "what are you doing calling me. You know youre not spose to call me when im home. what do you want?"
In shock, I reply, "What do you mean what do i want? What's your problem?"
He ten tells me, "Im not leaving my wife, im sorry. I decided to just work things out." "Thats the only and nicest way i can tell you. I was gonna call you soon."
Im sure he could hear the anger in my voice as it trimbles, "what the hell? Soon when? Why all of a sudden and youre gonna just throw the past 5 years away?" "You promised when the kids were almost done with college you were gonna leave?"
The flatness of his voice makes it seems as of he doesnt care, and tell me "Im sorry, my family needs me."
I begin to breakdown cryin trying to tell him, "Im pregnant,I need you! What bout me? "
So i yell to him, "hey your phone, you want me to get it?" knowing he doesnt like me lookin in his phone. He walks in and replies with a smerk, "Woman stop playin!" He picks it up and calls back the number. I get up and get ready for work. Im in the bathroom washing my face but i can hear his conversation.
"Hey baby, yeah I made it safe to the hotel. I'm getting ready to go to the office in a few. I'll call to you later. I love you too."
I dont think anything of it because I'm used to it by now, i mean we have been dating 5 years now. Plus hes getting a divorce because the kids are almost out of school. Its almost like a routine. As I'm getting dressed he comes up to me from behind to hug me.
"Baby stop I'm trying to get dressed. I'm gonna be late if I dont leave in ten minutes, seriously." Knowing that I love being in his arms. It makes me feel so secure and his cologne doesnt help.
He replies with a smart comment, "I can help you get back undressed in two minutes."
I tell him, "I'll pass, Ive had a enough for one night my friend." I laugh and grab my purse while trying to put on my other heel. As i walk out the door he says, "knock em' dead babe, I love you." I simply reply, "You know it, I love you more."
The door shuts behind me and as i always do, i wonder if he's going to call her back. I get to work just before my supervisor, good thing because I'm trying to become junior partner at my law firm. Its Tuesday and i hate Tuesdays. I have to make sure all the clients paper work is done and filed correctly for their court dates. I have to call them to make sure they show up. I Shouldn't have to make sure they come, they are adults. But then again, they pay me.
Its been a long day, so i took a break to call Him to see if were still on for lunch. He didnt answer so i left a message. I wonder what hes doing because hes off today. I start back to work for a while. Two hours passed and he still hasnt called, I can feel the uneasiness in my stomach. I dont know if its because its Tuesday or its nausea. I try texting him, "Hey are you still meeting me at Bob's for lunch?" He replies, "No babe im sorry, something came up. Im so sorry baby ill make it up to you i promise. I have to fly home asap. I'll call you later."
Why am i not suprised? Man, i was so looking forward to lunch. We were going to make plans for our anniversary coming up. I guess i'll order chinese for take out and wait for 5 o'clock to strike to go home and watch "How to lose a guy in 10 days" for the 100th time this month.
Five O'clock finally came, I walk up my steps with the take out in my hand because i couldn't eat it earlier. That had to be the longest day ever. Its now ten and he still hasn't called. I call my girl friend, Shante to see what shes up to and tell her bout him skipping town. Shante doesnt like him at all and tells me i need to leave him, im wasting my time. I think its because of the age difference, Im only 26 and he's 43. I tell her, Im not wasting my time because hes gonna divorce his wife soon. She never wants to hear it, but we talk for a minute. Until i tell her, "Well girl i gotta go ill talk to you later. I dont feel good i need to get some sleep." She replies with the usual, "aight holla at cha girl!" She so ghetto but i love her.
The movie is over and its now 2 a.m. and still no call or text. I would but i know the rules, I cant call him if hes home. I try to lay down but my stomach is killing me. Motrin is normally the answer, so i pop three and go to sleep.
The next morning was worst than the night before. I call out of work, the season is changing and its cold up here in the north so maybe its the flu. The only good thing about the morning is he called. He said the one of the kids had an car accident but they're fine and he will try to fly back out in the next two days. I guess im content with that anwser but i let him go so i can go to the doctor.
The next few days were off and on. I tried to work but couldnt handle all the stress. and on top of that He hasnt called me in a 2 weeks. This has never happened and i dont know what to do. I know the rules but i just had to call. He picks up after the third ring with a mono tone voice like everything is cool.
"Why havent you called me? I thought you were flying back out?" "whats going on?"
He tells me, to hold on. I can hear her in the background. "what are you doing calling me. You know youre not spose to call me when im home. what do you want?"
In shock, I reply, "What do you mean what do i want? What's your problem?"
He ten tells me, "Im not leaving my wife, im sorry. I decided to just work things out." "Thats the only and nicest way i can tell you. I was gonna call you soon."
Im sure he could hear the anger in my voice as it trimbles, "what the hell? Soon when? Why all of a sudden and youre gonna just throw the past 5 years away?" "You promised when the kids were almost done with college you were gonna leave?"
The flatness of his voice makes it seems as of he doesnt care, and tell me "Im sorry, my family needs me."
I begin to breakdown cryin trying to tell him, "Im pregnant,I need you! What bout me? "
Sunday, September 27, 2009
I can do bad all by myself.
I applaud Tyler perry for his hard work and dedication to what he loves most. All that he went threw didnt make him give up but only made him stronger and strive for success. Ive loved his work from day 1. All of his plays are awesome. I must say this Madea Character is beyond amazing. You can be having the worst day on this earth but pop in a Madea play or movie, i bet that frown will turn upside down. But i finally got to see I can do bad all by myself. It was soooo Goood, and i love Taraji. Shes such a good actress. But this movie was so funny, I was literally crackin up Lol. I also cried, (sorry im sentimental lol) but it was a tear jerker! The thing about Tyler work is that they all have messages. There's always a moral to the story and inspiration.
Well i went with my old friend Jet bcuz i stood him up the time before. He's recovered from the flu but we went to TGIF. It was good i got Chicken pasta. I havent been to TGIF since like march but its was kool. So we ate then went to the movie theater and i had to use the restroom. So im walking towards it. I read the sign that said Ladies left and Men right. As i walk i get side tracked by a text message. Im reading it walking into the restroom when i look up and theres a Guy doin his last shake. I walked into the mens restroom. OMG i covered my eyes while laughin and turned around!!!!! I couldnt believe i did that. the guy was crackin up. I walk out and keep straight to the ladies and i glance at Jet like why didnt u say anything lol I was so embarrassed because there were other ppl around. But Jets kool He just laughed at me. Hilarious stuff i tell you. wish you couldve seen it lol. anyways if u havent seen the movie go do so, you'll enjoy it! :)
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Pick up lines... smh
I thought pick up lines were so old school! Believe it or not guys still use them lol...It cracks me up. How are u gonna tell me the same thing u told someone else 10 min ago.
Hey beautiful/gorgeous is proly the worst lol well to me. Am i spose to blush... NOT! Thanks but my mom actually told me those things growing up so i it doesnt come as a surprise when guys say. And I dont go lookin for guys to tell me that to feel confident. Dont get me wrong he proly feels that way really and its nice at first but after i've told u my name, u can stop callin me beautiful every 5 seconds when referring to me because your now over using it.
As you know I play basketball, but if i hear another guy ask me, "If we can play one on one? what were playing for?" Im gonna scream! literally! another one is "When u gonna let me play for your heart?" NEVER lol... This is not love and basketball although i absolutely love that movie. I love basketball, but its not all I do. So dont talk to me about it 24/7 its annoying unless its about King James! i can talk about him all day!
The myspace/facebook game is so Lame! Youre proly on there messaging 50 million girls a day copying and pasting the same message hoping they respond. Then if they do, u play if off like u aint try to kick game! Shut up, yeah you are. i bet over half the guys that send these annoying messages have girl friends which is disgusting and sad. I know this because i've been that girlfriend on the other end lol. anyways I dont even read these messages 95% of the time, just Delete! lol it kills me when they send multiple messages after I havent replied to first one, funny stuff i tell ya.
ex. Whats up Ma? how are you doin? My name is ..... I just had to say something because you are gorgeous. You have a pretty smile too. You seem kool & I would like to get to kno u better, if dats cool.
No its not cool lol. I just got one last night which inspired this post that said "WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE TO BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON MYSPACE?" lol if this isnt funny then idk what is. Thank you but its very cliche and Lame, lol nice try tho. Some of the things these dudes say is silly. Some actually send dang biographies. From their name to there DNA, dude i dont wanna know you! The Whats up shawty/MA/Sexy are very annoying. Im sorry but dont come at me like that, its not cute nor attractive.
Im not gonna sit here and bash ALL of them because i do respond to a few like 5%, but the guy has to be cute/ handsome and i gotta be bored lol! But its nothing more than myspace/facebook friendship. This social network game these guys spit may actually work with a few females. Some girls respond and they actually end becoming friends w/ the guy, eventually evolving from friendship to relationship! But hey if thats your thing then do you, youre just having fun right!
PEACE.LOVE.HAPPINESS
Hey beautiful/gorgeous is proly the worst lol well to me. Am i spose to blush... NOT! Thanks but my mom actually told me those things growing up so i it doesnt come as a surprise when guys say. And I dont go lookin for guys to tell me that to feel confident. Dont get me wrong he proly feels that way really and its nice at first but after i've told u my name, u can stop callin me beautiful every 5 seconds when referring to me because your now over using it.
As you know I play basketball, but if i hear another guy ask me, "If we can play one on one? what were playing for?" Im gonna scream! literally! another one is "When u gonna let me play for your heart?" NEVER lol... This is not love and basketball although i absolutely love that movie. I love basketball, but its not all I do. So dont talk to me about it 24/7 its annoying unless its about King James! i can talk about him all day!
The myspace/facebook game is so Lame! Youre proly on there messaging 50 million girls a day copying and pasting the same message hoping they respond. Then if they do, u play if off like u aint try to kick game! Shut up, yeah you are. i bet over half the guys that send these annoying messages have girl friends which is disgusting and sad. I know this because i've been that girlfriend on the other end lol. anyways I dont even read these messages 95% of the time, just Delete! lol it kills me when they send multiple messages after I havent replied to first one, funny stuff i tell ya.
ex. Whats up Ma? how are you doin? My name is ..... I just had to say something because you are gorgeous. You have a pretty smile too. You seem kool & I would like to get to kno u better, if dats cool.
No its not cool lol. I just got one last night which inspired this post that said "WHAT DOES IT FEEL LIKE TO BE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PERSON MYSPACE?" lol if this isnt funny then idk what is. Thank you but its very cliche and Lame, lol nice try tho. Some of the things these dudes say is silly. Some actually send dang biographies. From their name to there DNA, dude i dont wanna know you! The Whats up shawty/MA/Sexy are very annoying. Im sorry but dont come at me like that, its not cute nor attractive.
Im not gonna sit here and bash ALL of them because i do respond to a few like 5%, but the guy has to be cute/ handsome and i gotta be bored lol! But its nothing more than myspace/facebook friendship. This social network game these guys spit may actually work with a few females. Some girls respond and they actually end becoming friends w/ the guy, eventually evolving from friendship to relationship! But hey if thats your thing then do you, youre just having fun right!
PEACE.LOVE.HAPPINESS
Random...
Never thought I'd live to see the day Atlanta would flood.
This pic below is of a teammates house. I could even begin to image when i heard. The first thing i said was NO WAY! then i seen the pics and it was very clear. Its soo sad.. not only for her and her family, at least no one was hurt. But My prayers are definitely with those across the city who lost there homes. Just gos to show that anything can happen. take nothing for granted because things, even life can be here one day and gone the next.
Before
After
Well Its HUMP DAY aka Wednesday! :)
the week is almost over... practice then more studying. Im starting to feel like things are very routine which makes me feel like somethings missing. Idk it just may be me... lol But something needs to shake... i have an idea but ill keep that to myself hehe... The season will be here soon so thats good! I know that because our kicks came in :)
LEBRONS
This pic below is of a teammates house. I could even begin to image when i heard. The first thing i said was NO WAY! then i seen the pics and it was very clear. Its soo sad.. not only for her and her family, at least no one was hurt. But My prayers are definitely with those across the city who lost there homes. Just gos to show that anything can happen. take nothing for granted because things, even life can be here one day and gone the next.
Before
After
Well Its HUMP DAY aka Wednesday! :)
the week is almost over... practice then more studying. Im starting to feel like things are very routine which makes me feel like somethings missing. Idk it just may be me... lol But something needs to shake... i have an idea but ill keep that to myself hehe... The season will be here soon so thats good! I know that because our kicks came in :)
LEBRONS
Monday, September 21, 2009
CHANGES....
I know people can change, I have my own testimony. Circumstances can change as well, but i dont understand why some people dont. They are content with where they are in their lives. Wether it be economically, Spiritually, or relationship wise. They're nonchalant about things that should be important or just doesnt care. Personally i done get it.
I know I dont want to have to worry about living pay check to pay check. I work hard now so that i can Play later sorta speak. I know some people grow up struggling in a low encome family, ok fine but you would think that should make them want or strive for better. Not in all cases, some feel that they stuck i guess, letting that situation define who and what theyre gonna be. No thats not who are you, thats just a status that can change dramatically but its up to you.
Im a woman of God, and this didnt happen over night. It took growth, experience, and support over the yrs. Something i take great pride in these days! But i dont understand it when people say they wanna change but still stuck doing the same things they did saturday night before church sunday morning. Its not gonna jus happen you gotta make it happen, its something that you have to want. Its not gonna be a easy road but anything worth having isnt gonna come easy. Open up your heart to Jesus, hes waiting. He wants the best for your but you also have to want it. Stop talking about it and be about it! I promise you wont regret it :)
Sincere relationships doesnt seem to exist these days. Any kind of relationship, wether its pure friendship, or significant others. Its hard to find someone that is consistant, loyal, and genuine with todays generation. Relationships take work and compromise, dont ask God to send you someone then dont do your part. You just dont appreciate that person and eventually taking advantage of their love for you. They get tired of it and you say you'll change. Well if you truelly care you change. And not just tell them things you think they want to hear to keep them around. Im not talkin about just changing for a week Because what you do in the dark will come to light eventually. But you should change for the better if its something you really want because Healthy relationships are great! Theres nothin like having true Love and someone that you know, no matter what has your back.
I know I dont want to have to worry about living pay check to pay check. I work hard now so that i can Play later sorta speak. I know some people grow up struggling in a low encome family, ok fine but you would think that should make them want or strive for better. Not in all cases, some feel that they stuck i guess, letting that situation define who and what theyre gonna be. No thats not who are you, thats just a status that can change dramatically but its up to you.
Im a woman of God, and this didnt happen over night. It took growth, experience, and support over the yrs. Something i take great pride in these days! But i dont understand it when people say they wanna change but still stuck doing the same things they did saturday night before church sunday morning. Its not gonna jus happen you gotta make it happen, its something that you have to want. Its not gonna be a easy road but anything worth having isnt gonna come easy. Open up your heart to Jesus, hes waiting. He wants the best for your but you also have to want it. Stop talking about it and be about it! I promise you wont regret it :)
Sincere relationships doesnt seem to exist these days. Any kind of relationship, wether its pure friendship, or significant others. Its hard to find someone that is consistant, loyal, and genuine with todays generation. Relationships take work and compromise, dont ask God to send you someone then dont do your part. You just dont appreciate that person and eventually taking advantage of their love for you. They get tired of it and you say you'll change. Well if you truelly care you change. And not just tell them things you think they want to hear to keep them around. Im not talkin about just changing for a week Because what you do in the dark will come to light eventually. But you should change for the better if its something you really want because Healthy relationships are great! Theres nothin like having true Love and someone that you know, no matter what has your back.
Friday, September 18, 2009
Just feel like bloggin....
ITS FRIDAY
Its been raining all week! Its not a big deal to me, it definitely helps me sleep like im sure it does everyone else lol...
I only had two classes this morning so now im waiting for practie at 2 to go home...yayy! Idk why im so happy because i have absolutely no plans lol. Oh well i jus love sleepin in my Bed! :)
Maybe me and my good Friend Jet will hang. Idk because he had the flu all Week, Poor thing :(
Me and Jet went to high school together, He was also my first REAL boyfriend. You know you have the middle school boyfriends but they dont count bcuz you dont date you just see each other @ skool and talk on the phone occasionally you know lol so I say real bcuz i could actually go on dates and hang out to get to know each other. He was a senior and i was a freshman, we both played ball, he was the star and i was the upcoming star lol (kiddin) This was my first yr at this skool, i didnt know anyone bcuz we jus moved to the area. So dating him gave a few kool points with the "In-crowd" along with my Coolness Lol! but he ended up going to school while i had 3 more yrs of HS left. We stayed pretty cool for a while then kinda stop communicating. Lost numbers and doing our on thing played a part. So its been almost 3yrs until this summer that we actually hung out. So now we communicate on the Regular which is kool! I enjoy his company, He's different, thats my buddy!
Im lookin foward church this weekend! I love my pastor, hes so geniune and down to earth! He delivers the message so well, i totally understand his points and what the Lord is speaking thru him to tell me! Praise and worship the best! My cousin plays the guitar but he like sooooo coool with it. Hes not like 23 more like 53 which make it even cooler! but i guess we'll see what the weekend have in store for me but for now i g2g! have a blessed day you guys!
PEACE LOVE HAPPINESS
Its been raining all week! Its not a big deal to me, it definitely helps me sleep like im sure it does everyone else lol...
I only had two classes this morning so now im waiting for practie at 2 to go home...yayy! Idk why im so happy because i have absolutely no plans lol. Oh well i jus love sleepin in my Bed! :)
Maybe me and my good Friend Jet will hang. Idk because he had the flu all Week, Poor thing :(
Me and Jet went to high school together, He was also my first REAL boyfriend. You know you have the middle school boyfriends but they dont count bcuz you dont date you just see each other @ skool and talk on the phone occasionally you know lol so I say real bcuz i could actually go on dates and hang out to get to know each other. He was a senior and i was a freshman, we both played ball, he was the star and i was the upcoming star lol (kiddin) This was my first yr at this skool, i didnt know anyone bcuz we jus moved to the area. So dating him gave a few kool points with the "In-crowd" along with my Coolness Lol! but he ended up going to school while i had 3 more yrs of HS left. We stayed pretty cool for a while then kinda stop communicating. Lost numbers and doing our on thing played a part. So its been almost 3yrs until this summer that we actually hung out. So now we communicate on the Regular which is kool! I enjoy his company, He's different, thats my buddy!
Im lookin foward church this weekend! I love my pastor, hes so geniune and down to earth! He delivers the message so well, i totally understand his points and what the Lord is speaking thru him to tell me! Praise and worship the best! My cousin plays the guitar but he like sooooo coool with it. Hes not like 23 more like 53 which make it even cooler! but i guess we'll see what the weekend have in store for me but for now i g2g! have a blessed day you guys!
PEACE LOVE HAPPINESS
Thursday, September 17, 2009
His Will...
Its been a while bloggers, Ive been pretty busy here lately with school, ball, and my internship. I just had to post this blog about my growth over the past few yrs & my relationship with the man upstairs. Im so happy with life right now and where im at, not saying everything is perfect 24/7 but I truelly have a different outlook about life.
I grew up in the church. If i wasnt with my grandmother, an evangelist, my mom definitely had me and my sister there. I actually remember when my grandmother taught me how to pray. I was about 4 or 5 and I say that prayer til this day but along with more things. Of course i've aged so i'd say is more advanced from the age of 5 lol. I sang in the church choir from about 10- 17, even lead a few songs. I was baptized when i was 13. Im no stranger to Father, Son, and Holy ghost. So i guess i can say i've always had a relationship with God but During my adolescent i really didnt understand that u just cant go to church to go to heaven. During high school, i was in church evey sunday, some days of course because my mom dragged me. Stayed out Saturday nights partying with friends. But i managed to make it up at 8 am every Sunday. Still singing in the choir and bible studies along with other church activities throughout the week. It never crossed my mind until now i really wasnt growning spiritually because i was still of the world and doing things i wasnt spose to like partying and takin things for granted. Not really being thankful for things like most teenagers do.
I go to college, & yeah i did get to experience the "College Life". I did my work but i must say my partying out weighed my studying. I didnt attend church not nearly as much as i should've. I blamed it on the distance because my school was 2 hrs away from home. (LAME EXCUSE I KNOW) because there were plenty of churches i couldve attended around my school. So mostly my freshman i partyed with the home girls and lost touch with my spiritual side. During my sophomore year i stopped the partying and drinking. It simply got old, i didnt enjoy it was much as i used to. I knew i wasnt living right so i stopped. Although i stopped, still didnt attend church or read my bible. But i was merely just ACTIN GOOD, which doesnt give u the key to the pearly gates. It was a start.
I transferred schools, and decided to transfer to a Christian school where i am now. Its not much to do around here. Its small but the most important part is i like it. When i first got here it was a totally different vibe from what i was used to. I must say that it was almost wierd lol. The people around seem different, kind odd, so i was like "what did i get myself into." I told myself this could be a good thing and embrace it. The first year here i kinda went through the motions. We have these services on Tuesdays and Wednesdays that is mandatory called Chapel and convocation. I skipped a few. we're also required to take bible classes. I really didnt care for those at first bcuz they were long and kinda boring. I still hung out and partied occasionally. So one day i was thinking, "I'm taking steps back". That's not what i wanted so i stopped gain, attended church on the regular besides school and did more studying of the bible. And really focused on my relationship with God. But i struggled with how people (FRIENDS) would think of me and that i wouldnt be able have fun anymore.
So i then prayed about it and God spoke to me. I shouldnt care what people think of me, it only matters to him and how he perceives me. And that it was time to stop playin and get serious about it and thats what i did. I took what i learned in my bible classes and applied them to my personal studies in the bible. Since opening my heart to him and embracing my situation with my school i must say its the best decision i've made ever. Im such a happier person, it feels like i have this new Inner peace. Im able to not hold grudes and forgive people. Ive grown alot closer to my family on my dads side. I take nothing for granted and more optimistic than ever about any situation. Its amazing how He works and reveals himself. Im soooooo thankful for Him and all he has done for me. If i had a thousand tongues i couldnt say thank you enough. I keep him first at all times bcuz i know everything else will fall into place even when things dont go my way. I know he will not leave nor forsake me! If no one else has my back he does. When I have no one else to talk i know he's always there to listen. This is the new me like it or not but i dont care because I LOVE IT! Hopefully one day i wanna go on a mission trip because last yr it didnt work out! Ill just pray about it :) I know the devils gonna try attack me from angles but im grounded so i will not fall.
John 14:16-17 (The Message) The Spirit of Truth
If you love me, show it by doing what I've told you. I will talk to the Father, and he'll provide you another Friend so that you will always have someone with you. This Friend is the Spirit of Truth. The godless world can't take him in because it doesn't have eyes to see him, doesn't know what to look for. But you know him already because he has been staying with you, and will even be in you!
God Bless♥
I grew up in the church. If i wasnt with my grandmother, an evangelist, my mom definitely had me and my sister there. I actually remember when my grandmother taught me how to pray. I was about 4 or 5 and I say that prayer til this day but along with more things. Of course i've aged so i'd say is more advanced from the age of 5 lol. I sang in the church choir from about 10- 17, even lead a few songs. I was baptized when i was 13. Im no stranger to Father, Son, and Holy ghost. So i guess i can say i've always had a relationship with God but During my adolescent i really didnt understand that u just cant go to church to go to heaven. During high school, i was in church evey sunday, some days of course because my mom dragged me. Stayed out Saturday nights partying with friends. But i managed to make it up at 8 am every Sunday. Still singing in the choir and bible studies along with other church activities throughout the week. It never crossed my mind until now i really wasnt growning spiritually because i was still of the world and doing things i wasnt spose to like partying and takin things for granted. Not really being thankful for things like most teenagers do.
I go to college, & yeah i did get to experience the "College Life". I did my work but i must say my partying out weighed my studying. I didnt attend church not nearly as much as i should've. I blamed it on the distance because my school was 2 hrs away from home. (LAME EXCUSE I KNOW) because there were plenty of churches i couldve attended around my school. So mostly my freshman i partyed with the home girls and lost touch with my spiritual side. During my sophomore year i stopped the partying and drinking. It simply got old, i didnt enjoy it was much as i used to. I knew i wasnt living right so i stopped. Although i stopped, still didnt attend church or read my bible. But i was merely just ACTIN GOOD, which doesnt give u the key to the pearly gates. It was a start.
I transferred schools, and decided to transfer to a Christian school where i am now. Its not much to do around here. Its small but the most important part is i like it. When i first got here it was a totally different vibe from what i was used to. I must say that it was almost wierd lol. The people around seem different, kind odd, so i was like "what did i get myself into." I told myself this could be a good thing and embrace it. The first year here i kinda went through the motions. We have these services on Tuesdays and Wednesdays that is mandatory called Chapel and convocation. I skipped a few. we're also required to take bible classes. I really didnt care for those at first bcuz they were long and kinda boring. I still hung out and partied occasionally. So one day i was thinking, "I'm taking steps back". That's not what i wanted so i stopped gain, attended church on the regular besides school and did more studying of the bible. And really focused on my relationship with God. But i struggled with how people (FRIENDS) would think of me and that i wouldnt be able have fun anymore.
So i then prayed about it and God spoke to me. I shouldnt care what people think of me, it only matters to him and how he perceives me. And that it was time to stop playin and get serious about it and thats what i did. I took what i learned in my bible classes and applied them to my personal studies in the bible. Since opening my heart to him and embracing my situation with my school i must say its the best decision i've made ever. Im such a happier person, it feels like i have this new Inner peace. Im able to not hold grudes and forgive people. Ive grown alot closer to my family on my dads side. I take nothing for granted and more optimistic than ever about any situation. Its amazing how He works and reveals himself. Im soooooo thankful for Him and all he has done for me. If i had a thousand tongues i couldnt say thank you enough. I keep him first at all times bcuz i know everything else will fall into place even when things dont go my way. I know he will not leave nor forsake me! If no one else has my back he does. When I have no one else to talk i know he's always there to listen. This is the new me like it or not but i dont care because I LOVE IT! Hopefully one day i wanna go on a mission trip because last yr it didnt work out! Ill just pray about it :) I know the devils gonna try attack me from angles but im grounded so i will not fall.
John 14:16-17 (The Message) The Spirit of Truth
If you love me, show it by doing what I've told you. I will talk to the Father, and he'll provide you another Friend so that you will always have someone with you. This Friend is the Spirit of Truth. The godless world can't take him in because it doesn't have eyes to see him, doesn't know what to look for. But you know him already because he has been staying with you, and will even be in you!
God Bless♥
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL
Its my senior yr of college & i had my first day of classes today! So far so good... I think its gonna be a good year as far as academics, and ball as well! It gonna be a lot of studying, and hard work... but im up for it because im ready to get outta here and start my career! my how time flys.... Ill keep this one short and sweet, just wanted write about my first last day of college! :)
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